A Year in the Making

I’m excited  that this old year is about to end. It is been one of the most challenging years for me. The entire year has been a learning process.

I will admit, the majority of the year, has been very undesirable. And yet, it has all been very necessary. As painful as it was, I wouldn’t take any of it back. Sometimes, you need to be thrown into the depths of hell, before you can rise out and feel normal again. When that happens, things become just a bit brighter.

I really don’t feel there is much holding me back now. Several times, I kept saying to myself,   “it just can’t get any worse than this”  and it was almost self  sabotage as something even worse would happen every time.

It wasn’t so much the physical challenges I have faced, and I know a lot of people with much more serious issues. It is my mental mind shift that had to do a complete 180.

While it is true that you cannot run away from your problems, once you have faced those problems or — resolved issues for yourself in a way that you are satisfied with, an actual physical move to a new location can do wondrous things for you.

I recently made that move myself. During the course of the past year, I really didn’t stay in touch with my many of my friends. After making my physical move, I felt suddenly prompted to contact them again and reconnect. One friend in particular laughed hysterically when I told her the events of the past year. Listening to myself telling her the story, I couldn’t help but laugh myself. It is a friend that I’ve had for over 20 years. My mind raced back thinking to when she and I had first met, and it was just amazing everything that had transpired since then.

It is ironic that 2008 holds the last digit eight which when one props sideways is an eternity symbol. While I’m glad that 2008 will not last for eternity the lessons I have learned in 2008 will be with me forever.

I have some big plans for 2009. Not just plans, but a real desire to implement them. In particular, the next four months will be a truth test of my persistence. I have been given an opportunity, a window of time, where I literally have everything before me that I have ever asked for.

During the past few new years, I had no desire to even stay up to the stroke of midnight. Finally, this year there is renewed feeling to watch the ball drop. I will be staying up late, and will have my own  celebration to say goodbye to 2008 and hello to 2009 with open arms.

To all my friends who I have spent endless hours of conversations with online in this past year, I would like to wish you all the best and a happy new year. May you all get at the very least a glimmer of the peace of mind that I have finally found.

How do I Look?

I added a blavatar. How do I look?

I’m kind of curious as to why the blavatar is not considered a favicon. Like a favicon, it shows up in the address bar and on the tabs.

I finally changed the theme here, and will look around to customize the header.  Need to spruce the place up a bit.

I’m moving in all kinds of directions now.

I Dropped the Maps

I feel like I dropped all my maps and everything is a mess.  They are all over the place.

Massive confusion.  I have so many places to go and without some organization how will I ever get there?

My biggest problem I see now is how much gas I will waste and time as well.  It is good to have a plan. It’s easy to get distracted by things on the roadside.

I had to turn down a beggar at the side of the road.  He wanted to catch a ride with me, but I just don’t have any room left in the car. Especially with maps all over the place.

A fluid plan open to spontaneity is one thing.  I’m dealing with utter chaos. Picture you are driving in your car and the music is on loud, the windows are open, the AC is on as well.  There is clutter all over the floor and on the seats. Massive traffic all around you.  It’s manageable for a while, but now it is just really annoying.

While there are stops I must make along the way, I have not been taking the most direct route.

Today is a good rainy day for re-organizing my plan.

I ordered a dry erase board that is the wall paper style.  It has a sticky yet moveable background on it. I found it on ebay.  Since I’m moving around so much I can’t just put a real one up on the wall, so that is my plan.

In Loving Memory of Roxy

Roxy in her new home

My friends puppy passed away today. In actuality, Roxy was not a puppy, but she had the heart of one.

While it wasn’t a sudden thing, it is hard all the same.

My friend was traveling west years ago, and saw a dog walking along on the side of a highway.  She was in no position to stop for the dog at the time, but some how this dog left an impression on her.  Later on, my friend got to where she was going and all moved in.  She decided to go to the animal shelter.

To her suprise, there was the dog that she had passed on the highway.  It was some kind of sign.  She took Roxy home with her.

She spent years traveling around with Roxy.  The dog was nearly as big as it’s owner.  And yet, was the most loving sweet dog around.  Trusted around even babies.

I’m not one for large dogs, but Roxy was an exception.

Her owner was there for the last gasp of life this morning.  She didn’t want her to die alone, and this was probably the only sense of relief in this time of grief.

You will be missed Roxy.  You were a good dog.

Wow!!!

How exciting is this!  It’s wordpress, and the avenuegirl!

Is it a trap?  I’m still trying to figure it all out.

Sometimes we all need a little direction. I needed some direction myself.  I didn’t read the map properly and wound up in some very funny places. Not all was lost or bad. I did get myself into some bad neighborhoods. And at the same time I’ve seen dead people things people would never know existed, until now.

I didn’t see the whole thing, but I caught a good part of the movie Click with Adam Sandler.  As much as we all would like to fast forward through many things in our lives, you miss out on the little things in between.

You have to take the good with the bad and visa versa.  All we can hope for is that there is more good than bad in our lives.